Searching for a job has me feeling a lot like a pin ball stuck inside my own Resume. For those of you that have followed along with my process of losing my job some mere 288 days ago, also know that yes, the initial layoff was shocking for me, but at the same time I was relieved. Deep down inside I was so insanely bored with that job that I went to great measures to stave off my boredom. Hence my porn writing ways were born. Why did I stay at a job where the management sucked, I had to work every single weekend, and could have probably filed my nails all day and no one would have cared? Well, because besides all those listed negatives, it was also a pretty sweet gig: I worked 20 hours per week, but had full medical benefits, plus if I sold a house (I prayed a lot for this to happen) I would also collect a healthy commission. Did I mention that this job offered me lots of writing time? Also, there’s that minor detail that I actually had a job during this crazy-ass economic, rollercoaster ride. Many of my friends around me were being let go from their jobs, and having one made me feel fortunate.
*thunder clapping* 288 days ago (but who’s counting?), I found I was also walking the laid off plank with many of my friends. I was eligible to collect unemployment. I had searched my brain and realized I had never collected unemployment, so I signed up for this, although, I struggled with this and still do, quite frankly. I hate thinking of myself as burden to society. I want to contribute to society, not rape it. Once I started receiving unemployment, I was able to sync up my monthly bills with my unemployment benefits. And shockingly, I was coming up short on the income side – yes, I can whirl a calculator when I really have to. To cut expenses, I elected to rent out my house and sequentially moved into my friend Natalie’s house as an interim to purchasing another house. To date, I’m still at Natalie’s house and I keep looking for that cute, little bungalow that needs some TLC and my great contractor’s vision, but like landing a great job, this process also seems to keep thwarting me.
Gawd, I just read what I wrote. I promise this isn’t a plea for readers to send me cash. It isn’t a message for pity either. Please, I’m really okay. Sure, I’ve had to make some uncomfortable changes, and I’m on a strict budget, but I’ve been thoughtful in my process. My job loss has led me to going back to school, which is something I’ve toyed with doing for years. I’m going for it. It may take me 20 fucking years to earn my Master’s in Spanish, but I don’t care. I’m taking it un dia a la vez.
I’ve been spending a ridiculous, inordinate, horrendous, outlandish amount of time searching for a job. I began searching for part-time work so I could study full-time. And I was really, really close to landing a part-time SEO copywriting position, but in the end, no cigar for me. As it has been said, beggars can’t be choosers, so I’ve searched for full-time positions too. Part-time, full-time, hell, all the time seems to be really tough out here as I pavement pound in search of the Holy Grail, oops, I meant a jog, nope, wrong again, a job. I’m searching for a job, man. Again, that’s not a cry for help, or me begging for money, I swear. Thank God my mom doesn’t read this blog, or she’d be calling me, “honey, is everything…okay?” Inflection of her voice peaks between the o and kay. Yeah, mom, everything’s o-kay, I promise.
I promise to all of you reading this that I am allright. I’ve had some good leads and I’m making progress. I am getting there. I love it when people ask me, “…so, Neve… how is THE job search coming along…?” My immediate response is to get defensive, because well, it’s been 288 days, for Christ’s sakes, but then I calm down and realize, they’re just asking because they care, or have an inkling about job searching, or perhaps they really do think I’m searching for the Holy Grail. So thanks for all those that have inquired. And, hey, sorry, if I bit your head off a couple of times. I’ll be sure and replace your head the next time I see you and hopefully I’ll have a job by then too.
So, to end this saga of an employment post, and to demonstrate to everyone that I really am o-kay, I want to share some of the challenges of my repetitive daily job searching (nanu-nanu) with you, because it’s my Neve Black, black humor getting the best of me…again. Enjoy the chuckle:
· Part-time Consultant Needed: David’s Bridal, the nation’s leading bridal and special occasion retailer, is expanding the services we are offering our customers…
That would be a negative, ghost rider, she said.
· LPN with bowel regime experience- steady part time work.
This just frightened me. I’m sorry, but no. And fortunately, I’m not an LPN.
· Financial Manager, best job offer ever (business preferred)
What in the world? Maybe I should write to this company and offer my services to write their employment descriptions.
Please feel free to send all cash to my paypal account (wink-wink)-
Neve Black’s black humor
ah..my naughty mind..and the glasses of romanian merlot i just had made me read “laid” instead of “I’ve had some good leads and I’m making progress.”..which would be good news too..hehe*
i m so happy that you are doing well…:-)
Romanian merlot? Good Gawd, does that sound worldly and delicious. Oh, and no worries. Dirty minds think alike, because to be honest, I’ve had some good “laids” and some good leads.
Well Neve, don’t know if you’re interested in the work, but Mr. Greyson is looking for an erotic model…payment is dinner and homebrew
No nudity required, just fantabulous boots. Interested?
and…when you find that little bungalow that needs TLC he’s more than willing to help ya out there in exchange for dinner(and beer, of course).
(((HUGS)))
SG
i discovered that wine just about two weeks ago..its a very strong aroma, great odor, both dry but still heavy fruity on the back of the tongue…and i bought directly a couple of bottles..i ms ure there will be at least one left when we meet one day…i m happy its wine not milk..:-))))
Scarlett,
So sweet. Yes, of course I’m interested in that job. Sounds perfect.
I have a feeling my bungalow will need a lot of TLC and if you guys come back into town, there will be no working. No, nunca, nada. Beer? Dinner? Yes, that can be arranged though.
Romanian clothes pins sound sexy to me. Anything from Ro-ma-ni-a just seems dark and mysterious, but wine? Whoa! I’ll take two please. Swig and swoon.
:grins: Awesome!
I loved your boots from Halloween, and both Mr.G. and I have a vision of one of those wicked domme boots planted in a man’s groin. Can’t you just see it? *fanning* wow…did it get hot in here?
And we’d love to help you work on your bungalow. Work is always easiest when shared with friends!
But, beer and dinner sound awesome too.
You’ll have to drop me an email and let us know what your and your beau’s schedule looks like and we’ll see what we can do to get together
I think you may have found an indispensable new position for the next decade: writing employment/job description copy.
You can do the job in sexy boots, methinks.
Call it multitasking.
I hope that perfect job is waiting around the next corner.
Don’t know what to say. Best wishes, Neve.
Oh, Janine,
You’re so cute. No worries. If I wasn’t finding all this humorous and if I wasn’t really doing okay, I wouldn’t post it. I really am okay. It’s just funny to me how long the process has taken. Albeit, I did take a few months off. I’ve also gone down a couple of roads of where I thought I should go and realize, hmmm…this isn’t right. So, I suppose my investigative job search has been thorough.
How’s Mr. Ashbless doing at his new job? How are you two adjusting to that change?
Craig,
I know. For the love of God, someone needs to get those descriptions in shape. So cheesy, it’s sickening. Great multi-tasking idea too. I love it!
Hmmm….the beau really loved those darn boots too. I suppose I should wear them more often.
Well, I tell you what, the minute I get my hands on the love shack bungalow, you two are surely invited over. I hate to put my friends to work though, so we’ll have to compromise. Maybe that will be a weekend of food, drinks and laughs and no work for anyone.
Yes, the free-time isn’t an issue for me, hence my no working ways, but poor M is swamped right now. We will though. Promise.
p.s. you’re too sweet to offer your help and yes, I do want to get together again for a longer visit.
How’s Mr Ashbless doing? I’m sort of embarrassed to answer that! He’s only just started with his new job, but at the moment it looks like him getting laid off from the old one was the best thing that’s happened to him in years. (Apart from me of course: I’m the best thing that happened to him ever, lol … Oh, hold on, maybe “Rome:Total War” trumps me…)
If I lived close enough to your bungalow I would come around and pull some weeds in the garden - in the hope of a glass of merlot. *hugs*
Oh, Janine,
I’m sorry to have put you on the spot. I’m happy to hear things are going well. A shift in energy really does make the world look different sometimes. Actually, all the time. And of course you’re the best thing that happened to him. There’s no question about that.
I think the Erotic Summit Meeting should take place in Cleveland. At my new bungalow location that will have a huge garden, plenty of wine and lots of space for everyone to roam and mingle. Yeah, I know it’s difficult to get a strong pulse rate on Cleveland, Ohio when compared to Isabella’s Italy, or you and Nikki’s Scotland, but what the heck, an adventure is an adventure and I think we know how to make the most of any situation or location.
Hugs and wine right back at you.
Your spirit is inspiring, NB! And your ever-resilient sense of humor never fails to delight.
P.S. “Love Shack, babyyyyyyyyyyyyy!”
Jeremy,
No. It’s your inspiring wit and loving warmth that keeps me going. I so adore (not in the weirdo way) each and everyone of you out here. Thank you for listening and thank you for being you.
p.s. “Bang, bang, bang on the door, baby!”
I remember when I was looking for my first full-time day job, the looking itself seemed to feel sometimes like a full-time job….
Very best to you of course. And by the way, I don’t know if you would consider this your cup of tea, but it seems to me you could be a great webcam model.
I’d be happy to discuss some of the companies with which I’m familiar if you’re interested — just email.
If there is anything else I can do to help, please feel free to let me know. Hugs.
P.S. Knock a little louder, sugar!!
Hi Em,
I read your comments earlier today, but I’m just getting the chance to stop back and respond.
Yes, this searching for a job business is most definately time consuming and creative juice sapping. I’ll sit to write a story and my mind wanders this way and that - I feel unsettled about where I am right now as far as the job front goes.
Do you do webcam modeling? Yes, let’s discuss. You have my interest now, Ms. Verde.
Thank you for your support and your comments. They are as lovely as you are.
p.s. Love shack, baby, love shaaaaa-ck!
Yes, I have webcammed in two different online environments and would be happy to chat with you about the ins and outs. I’ll send you an email.
Well, Emerald, you’re so stunningly gorgeous, I’d pay money to watch you too.
Thank you for the compliment and yes, let’s chat outside of blogland.