I have no control over what someone else says or does. I have no control over what someone else says or does. I have no control over what someone else says or does. I only have control over how I react to their words and actions. This is my mantra for today.
Last night I was placed in a precarious and uncomfortable situation. I felt trapped in my own skin. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. I just sat there, while my fingers increasingly tightened around my “lady in red” martini. All I could hope for was that Captain Kirk would respond to my request and let me board the Starship Enterprise. I wanted to quickly disappear into thin air; proceeding to warp speed 12 and into another galaxy. Unfortunately, my signal was not heard, because there I sat, waiting and cringing with each breath.
It was the strangest place to be in. This type of situation rarely happens, but you recognize it when you’re faced with it. It was a classic quagmire. I couldn’t move in any direction, because quite literally I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t.
Has anyone else ever been stymied by being at the wrong place at the wrong time?
Neve Black
Wrong place at wrong time? Never! (hahaha - said that with fingers crossed behind me) - of course, more times than I’d ever care to think about. But, I always figure that there is more to be learned from those experiences than from nice, comfortable experiences. I say …. write!
Oh, Robin, you’re so cute. Thank you. For the longest time I was always the person that was so nice and smiled regardless of all shitty things people would do. Mostly in business related experiences, where there’s such a thin line. The older I get, the feistier I become. My grandmother was like that. Hmmmm….apple, meet tree.
I say, wrong place at the wrong time does make for interesting writing topics, doesn’t ?
Thank you for stopping and commenting. I appreciate that.
i wish my answer would be no..but..you know it i m sure..my answer is yes..and not only yes but also that i have been more then once in situations where i felt that horrible…
I’ve known that conundrum a time or two. It’s best just to go back, headlong into the fray. Face it and move on.
I wish you the best.
Hi Danielle,
I’m sorry. If it’s any consolation, I think everyone has been there. How did you handle your quagmire?
Craig,
Or maybe it’s two-step?
You’re always so brave. You have always been able to face it head-on? I usually can, but then again, sometimes I tire of always being the person that takes the higher road. I think some people are just assholes and well, I wish them all the best with that, but please kindly step aside, because I don’t associate with assholes. Now see, that’s most definately a side-step and not a head-on.
Of course, I’ve been there, too. The way you described it, I was there with you the other night! Well, as you know, my standard reaction is to freeze, then complain later. But recently I’ve done things differently. I got into a screaming match with a lady over a parking place a few weeks ago. Actually I was protecting my husband, the old she-wolf reaction. It was a stupid thing to do, but it felt good, lol.
Maybe at this age we feel like we have less to lose or we know we have less to lose. Cause you’ll only lose a relationship with a loser, which is not really a loss?
how i handle it?? with a sharp tongue..and a drink afterwards..:-)
Donna,
I had to re-read what you said, because at first I thought you said, “I was with you the other night…” Wait, Donna was at the Velvet Tango Room sipping ladies in red and didn’t say stop and say, “Hi?” Then suddenly, the geography pin popped my unrealistic bubble and I realized you couldn’t possibly have been there, but oh, how glorious if you had been. I think I would have uttered a word or two if you were there. :-0
I love your attitude about losing a loser. I suppose it took me a very long time to finally realize that you know what, I don’t have to be nice to people that aren’t nice to me. Nice people are nice to everyone, not just a select few and that pendulum swings the other way with mean, ugly people - they’re not nice to anyone.
p.s. your screaming match reminds a little of the movie, Fried Green Tomatoes when Kathy Baker hits the crap out of the selfish, young women while saying, “face it girls, I’m older and have more insurance.” Oh, how I love that.
Danielle,
I’m laughing here. I suppose if one must have a sharp instrument in a uncomfortable situation, a sharp tongue is the least damaging, or is it? I sucked down two rather expensive martinis that night. Gulp! Mmmmm…they were worth it though.
Hey Neve — as I read this I wanted to say to you, “Take a deep breath when that happens — and keep doing it.” Focus on breath — it helps you stay in the Present. Hugs to you too. And I love that picture of you!
Xoxox
Hi Em,
Thank you. I know. I could use more of your breathing techniques. :-0
Yeah, that picture is one of my favorites.
Hey Neve.
I used to do anything to avoid a difficult or confrontational situation.
And now, I’m a fairly diplomatic guy, and I’ll sidestep (or two step) with the best of them when I can. Often, the best action is no action. Sometimes people will do themselves in! I have many stories of this sort!
But, when caught between a rock and a hard place, I’ll push my way out. Not really being brave, it’s just the best course of action in the given situation. Sometimes people need to be put in their place.
Like Donna and the parking place lady.
Damn I wish I’d have been there!
Hey there Craig,
And yes, when faced with what to do, sometimes it’s best not to take any action. Just be quiet and smile and then when the coast is clear, run like hell!
I’m sorry, but you will always seem brave to me.
Yes, the image of Donna giving that woman the two-step would have been something.
the thiung is..i m not good at avoiding conflicts…my politics teacher once said about me: danielle is so diplomatic when he wants to be..but actually he never wants to be”…as a child i spend most of the time beeing afraid..afraid of a lot of stuff….now i just cant do this anymore..when i smell the smoke i light up my own fire…
Ah, Neve…been there, done that, alot. When it boils down to mean people, I’ve been know to make the observation “You know, I was taught growing up if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
The most memorable of those was telling that to my uncle
It depends on the situation for me as well as the people and volume of alcohol involved. Kind of a judgement call of whether or not I think I need to say something.
Danielle,
Your commets are Funny. Funny in a good way.
Hey Scarlett,
Yeah, I think alcohol muddies up the water though. I was sipping a martini and the more I sipped the more I felt compelled to say something, and that something wouldn’t have been very nice. You know, I think unless pushed, like Donna’s situation with the parking space, I’d rather keep my mouth shut. Like you said, and what my mom used to always say to me, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anthing at all.” Words to live by.